My Own Parable of the Olive Tree

There is a chapter in The Book of Mormon that I have read and studied countless times but I always seem to lose my reading momentum when I get to it. I am speaking of Jacob 5 and the Olive Tree allegory. It is a lonnnnng chapter, 77 verses in length and it goes back and forth about the vineyard and pruning and grafting and the natural fruit and.... Well, if you have ever read it I am sure you know what I am talking about. 

The chapter is actually a parable of the scattering and gathering of Israel and the work that must be done in the Lord's vineyard. I remember a fantastic institute (religion) class I took on it once and my scriptures were so beautifully marked and noted afterwards. But like I said, it's 77 verses long. When I read them on my phone, it doesn't have the same effect. Truthfully, it can grow a little cumbersome (no pun intended). 

New topic. 

I love my children. A lot. And I can make our life look perfect and beautiful through an Instagram post or a Facebook share. I even have some fooled into thinking that I am this really great mother. Truth is, I struggle. Especially with my oldest child. Oh, how I love that boy with all of my heart! But he can be a daily challenge and I spend a great deal of tears and worries and prayers in his behalf. I often feel unsure about what he needs or how I can help guide. I don't understand many facets of his personality and yet I am so vested in his well being I can't simply give up trying and hope that somehow all of it will work itself out. Instead I have decided recently I would pray with greater fervency and intent about my dear boy, asking Heavenly Father for wisdom about what I can do.

Back to Jacob 5.

I have been stuck on that chapter the last few days for my daily scripture study. You could even say I was bored (gasp!) and just read a few verses at a time, leaving a bookmark every few verses, knowing that eventually I would get around to finishing the chapter. Last night I was determined to finish and so after my prayers I climbed into bed and opened the chapter and began with the bookmark at verse 49:

"...What could I have done more for my vineyard?"

And Verse 50:

"...Spare it a little longer."

When I finished those words I felt them come alive and I knew. I wasn't just reading about the scattering and gathering of Israel. The Lord was telling me what to do with my son. I heard as plain as day, "Camille, spare him a little longer." 

I felt it. I just don't know how else to describe it. Suddenly those words breathed life into my weary mother soul and awakened me. I kept reading and the words just jumped out at me...

"...I will spare it a little longer, for it grieveth me that I should lose [the trees of my vineyard.]

"...let us pluck from [the tree] those branches whose fruit is most bitter, and graft in the natural branches of the tree in the stead thereof."

I heard loud and clear what the Lord was telling me. I felt myself respond out loud and echoing the same words of the verse:

"...this will I do that [the tree] may not perish, that, perhaps, I may preserve unto myself the roots thereof for mine own purpose.

"...Yea, I will graft in unto them the branches of their mother tree (ME!)

"...they also took of the natural trees which had become wild, and grafted into their mother tree.

"...Pluck not the wild branches from the trees, save it be those which are most bitter;

"...this I do that, perhaps, the roots thereof may take strength because of their goodness; and because of the change of the branches, that the good may overcome the evil."

I felt like my heart would leap out of my chest as I thought about grafting the goodness of my sweet boy back to me, his mother, so that it might be preserved. I, who knows him better than anyone else on this planet, can do this for him (and show him how to do it as well!) It is almost too sacred to even describe, but I know that Heavenly Father wants me to truly understand my role as this boy's mother and the goodness and beauty that he has in him. 

I think of where I was in my reading and my prayers at that very moment. I was exactly where I needed to be to get such sacred insight. I typically read when I am putting Maegan down for her nap. But had I read those verses the next morning in a nursery room rocking chair, they would not have meant the same thing. I had asked the Lord to let me know what more I could do and he heartily handed me an answer. I am constantly amazed at how The Gardener is so intimately aware of each of us, and what needs to happen in order to have us all safely planted in His vineyard. 

And how merciful is our God unto us, for he remembereth the house of Israel, both roots and branches; and he stretches forth his hands unto them all the day long... (Jacob 6:4)